Full Circle Moments...

Now and again I am struck by a moment. Circumstances cause me to reflect on an earlier time, a time related to the current one. Those two moments, past and present, though separated by time come around full circle and in that moment you are struck by a new and profound recollection.

I had one of these moments standing in the Hall of Mirrors in the palace of Versailles in Paris three years ago while on study abroad. Visiting that palace was something that I'd dreamed of since 8th grade French. After an admittedly rocky adolescence it was something that I thought I might not ever get the chance to do, so when it happened, when I finally found myself standing there, I was struck by the power of that moment. It was a moment in which I realized that my dreams had come full circle, a moment that dropped me and stopped me. As I looked up at the chandeliers that hung from that ceiling and the walls of glass lining that corridor I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude, a warmth, and an exhilaration that is hard to describe.

*Hall of Mirrors in the Chateau de Versailles in Paris, France*

Yesterday I was applying for a scholarship. The essay required a brief biographical sketch with some application of your aspirations for medicine. As I was working on this essay I had another one of these moments. It was a moment that forced me to acknowledge that I am here, in medical school, that made me see how much I am loving this experience, the chance to pursue a career that will allow me to help others, and one that is every bit the intellectually stimulating pursuit I thought it would be. Basically I caught myself remembering my six year old self and the early aspirations I had to become a doctor. I remembered the stories my dad told me of how he used to whisper in my ear at night as I slept that I could do anything I wanted, that I was smart, and that if I wanted to be a doctor I would do it. I remembered how hard I worked to get here. I remembered how life events had made it feel that medical school was something I would not be able to pursue, that I was somehow less deserving, but I realized in that moment that somehow I made it. I am here.

I know it's silly, but I felt... grateful... a sense of exhilaration that is hard to describe.

That moment dropped me. It stopped me. It caught me full circle.

Anyway, I thought I'd document.
...I guess that's how you know you are in the right place... the little moments that stop you...

I'm ending this post with a quote from T.S. Elliot:

“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”

Take this as my advice to acknowledge your own full circle moments.
...And that's it... my thoughts for the day...