oh bollocks

.Study.

.Study.

.Study.

Free Time

I don't have a lot of it *as you have perhaps inferred from my variety of study photos* but now and again I manage to find some.

The trouble is... My life is so all consumed by school that when I do have free time or feel like maybe just maybe it would be ok to call it a night at 8:00 pm, quit studying and go have some fun, I don't know what to do. You see, I don't have any especial hobby that I use to pass the time *aside from reading and writing and god knows I do enough of that during the day* nor have I managed to maintain any consistent relationships with many people outside of school (and my friends from school are always studying)... so I find myself with nothing to do and no one to do it with. As you can imagine this has the effect of making me feel:

a) mildly pathetic
and
b) lonely

Tonight is one such occasion where I feel I probably could take the night off, but instead I find myself at the school studying. This is not a complete tragedy seeing as the studying I do now will free up time for the weekend. However it is a little saddening when you find yourself studying based on the sheer fact that you have nothing better to do. Needless to say, it draws attention to my complete lack of a social life outside of school.

It also may or may not get me thinking about boys... Specifically, how it might be nice to have one around.

I know, shocking right? The girl who abstains from relationships pondering on the benefits of one...

The problem? I'm busy and inconsistent. I highly doubt that I'd be able to satisfy anybody's emotional needs when I'm this focused on school and have so little time. Furthermore ... It's rare that I find a guy that genuinely catches my interest and when they do... keeping that interest is another thing altogether (hence the inconsistency).

oh Bollocks.

I guess I'll just handle it. Tomorrow I'll be busy enough to forget once again that I'm socially starved... In the meantime...

I think it's time this girl starts expanding her social circle.